One of the most misunderstood traits a person may have is giftedness. When people hear the word ‘gifted,’ they think of straight A’s, a trophy cabinet and an easy life. Babe, no. I think for a lot of us it is more like we wake up at 2 in the night and over-think and wonder if we tried to fit into every place, why doesn’t it fit? and we go on wondering why and why for years. Everyone that has been told they are “too much,” “too intense,” or “too sensitive” – take a seat, this is for you! Let’s discuss what to look for in a high-gifted individual (and yes, it could be YOU).
What High Giftedness Actually Means in Real Life
The IQ score is just a small part of the picture. In 1991, a group of psychologists called the Columbus Group defined giftedness as asynchronous development, the gifted person’s inner life being different from the norm, and thinking advanced and being more intense. Translation? You may be in your thirties, but emotionally you may be in your teens, and socially, you may be in your late twenties or early thirties, struggling to catch up.
Polish psychologist Kazimierz Dabrowski termed this intensity as “overexcitability” which indicates thoughts, emotions, sensations and imagination are stronger than the average. It’s not a flex. Just wiring, that is.
The Everyday Signs of Giftedness
When you’re looking for ways to tell if someone is really gifted, it’s okay to put aside the report card. Observe someone’s perspective on the world.
Curiosity That Never Switches Off
You search for something and 3 hours later you are an expert on the medieval dye trade. Gifted curiosity is not “any ol’ curiosity. It must be able to grasp the interrelationship between all things.
Emotional Depth That Gets Called Oversensitivity
A sad film takes a toll on you for days. When you feel injustice in your chest, it feels tight physically. You pick up on the mood of a room before anyone speaks. It’s emotional depth they’re lacking, it’s not oversensitivity.
Never Quite Fitting In With Peers
When you were a child you liked to talk to adults more than you liked to talk to children. Now, a little bit of chatting is like melting away. Gifted is not the same as hating people, it’s a desire for a deeper conversation than ‘I’m going to the weekend’.
Existential Questions That Start Way Too Young
Why are we here? at 7 years old. Before being able to ride a bike, one had to worry about death and fair play. Gifted children tend to ask the big questions at the young age. Gifted children ask the big questions at a tender age.
Perfectionism That Feels Like a Personality
You see how it wants to look in your mind and if that’s not the case, it feels like you failed. That vision is a gift but it can also become procrastination, burnout and a hard on yourself inner critic that never takes a day off.
Boredom in School and Work
You learned the lesson in five minutes and spent forty-five minutes sitting and thinking about it. There are lots of talented individuals who’re classified as lazy when they’re merely understimulated.
The Dark Side of Giftedness Nobody Posts About
Here are some inspirational quotes no one wants to put in their part. It can be extremely lonely to be a gifted person. In a world where one’s thoughts are speedy and emotions are strong, it is difficult to locate those who are available at the intersection of your thoughts and feelings, and even more difficult to explain yourself without sounding like a malevolent superhero. Many gifted people feel chronically misunderstood and are like speaking a slightly different language. The clinical professionals who treat gifted adults describe “existential depression,” a profound sadness from witnessing the problems of the world and feeling helpless to resolve them, which is accompanied by anxiety because of overthinking and perfectionism. If this sounds familiar, please consult a therapist familiar with giftedness. You don’t need to survive, you need support.
Gifted Women and Girls Get Missed Even More
Gifted girls are experts on blending in. They discover at an early age that they are not liked if they are “the smart one,” so they dim themselves, people-please and adapt their personalities to the group. The teacher sees the well behaved pupil and proceeds.
As adults, those women are frequently misdiagnosed with anxiety or mood disorder and the giftedness under the surface is overlooked. Their power is termed “dramatic,” their drive is called “a lot. One of the revelations of becoming a highly gifted child is that one learns to see the quiet girl who learned to hide and to see the grown woman who still does.
Giftedness, ADHD, and Autism: The Big Overlap
That’s where things get complicated. Due to the similarities among traits and symptoms, giftedness, ADHD and autism are often misdiagnosed for each other and can share characteristics such as hyperfocus, sensory sensitivity, emotional intensity and social differences. Sometimes they do co-exist. Those with both gifts and neurodivergencies are referred to as “twice-exceptional” or “2e”.
The problem with 2e people is that their strengths and struggles are camouflaged. It’s as though the intelligence obfuscates the problems, and the problems mask the intelligence, making the person appear to be an ordinary guy on the outside, but twice as hard as everyone else on the inside. These conversations have gone viral, which is fantastic, but only a genuine expert can give you a proper assessment of 2e.
Why So Many Gifted People Find Home in Creativity
Aren’t you amazed at the guys and gals who are constantly on the move and have a fire in their bellies when it comes to their art, writing, design and/or business? Not a coincidence. For all that creative work is punished, it is rewarded with something that is traditionally rewarded: wild curiosity, endless new ideas, deep emotion, an obsession with getting the details just right.
In the creative realm, too much can be “visionary. Your intensity is your texture in your work. When AI generates generic content in seconds in 2027, it’s more important than ever to connect the dots and feel the things with depth.
Why This One Is Personal for Me
Okay, real talk. It has been my experience that I’m different. I was the one with the million questions, the one that cried over the documentaries and the one teachers called “bright but distracted. Growing up for years I believed there was something wrong with me because I couldn’t do things the “normal” way.
After which, fashion came for me. Went out in style, and finally began to start istawmandystyle. Being the boss of a creative enterprise allows me to pursue ideas at a rapid pace, and to express my emotions through substance. Knowing about giftedness did not label me as a fancy person. It helped me relax and to not be afraid of shrinking any more.
What Gifted People Need to Thrive
The Right Environment
Gifted individuals thrive in environments which offer space to explore, question, and go deep. Consider flexible work, independent study, and scheduling for energy conservation.
The Right Relationships
People who are interested in your intensity, not tired. That’s because one friend who sends you her 1am philosophical voice note is worth 50 who tell you to “relax. Discover people, even if they’re in a worldwide group chat.
The Right Work
A talented brain requires stimulation through meaningful, challenging, varied work. You may be bored at your desk, but it’s not a personality defect. It’s information.
You Were Never Too Much
If it was like reading your own diary, hopefully it gives you some relief as it did me. To identify a high-flier you must first identify yourself. You are not broken, dramatic or difficult. So you may be blessed in a world that is not quite ready for people like us. So feel deeply, dress loud, take up space, you’ve apologized for too much space. Exactly as you are.
